In the quest to read all issues of Amazing Spider-Man (see this post for details) I had to make a trip to some comic shops.
As usual, this had its ups and downs.
Store #1: Mile High Comics (satellite store)
This store has a pretty good selection of back issues and trade paperbacks. It also has a selection of collectibles, such as the statue where the Punisher looks a little like he might have been a preemie.
This store suffers from what I call
Comic Store Problem 744Q: Surly Staff
I was there with friends, one of whom asked for an item that was in a case with a sliding glass door, the kind they use to lock up video games at Target and methods of birth control at Wal-Mart, which is a mistake in my book because I think that if people are either stealing condoms or not using them at all, that suggests a person who may not be prepared to finance a baby and should probably be given many, many condoms of all varieties.
The guy let out a big sigh, crossed the room to where the case was and where my buddy was standing, and then slid the door open without unlocking anything. Why he didn't just say, "It's not locked" is beyond me. OR he could have slid it open without the big sigh. Either way, he was doing the classic thing where someone pretends to be put upon because everyone else on the planet is probably too stupid to open a sliding glass door anyway.
Sadly, the Simpsons comic book guy is definitely more the norm than the exception to the norm. Oooh, train of thought: Have 5 kids named Norm, then one kid named Exception.
Store #2: New Genesis Comics
There was a time when the opening of a new comic store was just about the most exciting thing that could happen in my life. Fortunately, this also coincided with a time where a new comic store opened about every other week, so it was a very exciting time indeed.
Today, however, it's pretty unusual to see a new comic store of any kind open, so you can imagine my surprise when I heard there was a newbie in Fort Collins (home to two other shops, I might add).
I drove with glee to the new spot (with "happiness," not the soundtrack from that idiotic show), threw open the doors and was confronted with
Common Comic Store Problem 82A: STORE EXTREMELY SMALL
The guy working there had a huge afro, nerd glasses, and was very eager to help me out. The only problem was that, because I was looking for Spider-Man back issues in some form, I could tell that they didn't have what I needed the second I came in the door and had to spend 5 minutes looking around just to be polite.
When I say this place was small, I mean small. I live in an apartment small enough that you can plug the vacuum in once and cover the whole joint, and this place was small even by my standards. You can see the cover of every book from the doorway, and if you came in with a buddy the two of you would have trouble schooching past each other to get to the other side.
This is a fairly common issue with comic stores. You go in, see that they have relatively little to offer and immediately want to leave, but the one shred of niceness left in me wants to look around and at least see what's happening.
This might be a cool place if you buy new issues of shit, and maybe if they can hang in a couple years they can build up a little more selection, but for now it's just not for me.
Then it was on to Comic Store #3: Gryphon Games and Comics
This store has a pretty decent selection. Of comics.
Selection of staff...not so decent.
Okay, I have some respect for the fact that working at a comic store seems to be one of the few jobs where you can stand around the counter and talk to friends, play whatever the hell music you want, and basically screw around all day as long as you get done with the handful of things that need doing. In fact, if people never ever came in it would be my dream job because sitting around, listening to music and having asshole-y looks on my face is pretty much what I do at home, so to make a career out of it would be nice.
And I don't ask for much. I'm not a guy who goes out to dinner and is constantly waiting for the waitress to either perform well or suck it up, meanwhile I'm sitting and recalculating the tip in my head. I'm really not. I only need people to do a passable job.
A passable job, in this case, would have been a greeting of some kind. Wave, nod, word, anything would have cut it for me. But nothing.
Also, because this comic store is also a place where people play the kinds of games that involve bizarre dice and esoteric rules that come from various books with pictures of old-time hammers and axes on the cover, it has an odor. A distinct anxiety sweat that soaks into the walls and leaves the whole place with a light scent of old milk that was never aired out in any way. It's a smell I remember from young days, but not one I particularly like. Overall, this store had
Comic Store Problem 744Q: Surly Staff
Comic Store Problem 458J: Odors
Comic Store Problem 3777R: Combination of too many nerdy activities under one roof.
Finally, Comic Store #4: Halley's Comics
This store is run by an extremely nice older woman and her less nice husband. I would call them ex-hippies except that in order to be an ex-hippie you have to stop being a hippie at some point. The upside is that the lady is usually pretty good as comic store workers run. The downside is that she is extremely nice in her taking in of pretty much every stray cat that comes by her rural home, and a good portion of these cats end up living part-time in the comic store.
Quickly, I hate when I go in a store and a animal lives there. That is so fucking stupid. Your dog doesn't need to come to work with you, especially considering that it mostly lays flat on the floor and doesn't fucking move for hours. That's normal dog activity, but it's not cool when you have to go to a store and feel shitty about nudging a dog so it moves so that you can look at the goddamn merchandise. I hate that shit.
Anyway, the cat thing is a problem because the cat odor ebbs and flows depending on the era, which cats are living there, how many, and so on. Because the owner seems to have no cat filter, no cat appearing to be too smelly, too angry, or the 47th, it can be pretty overpowering at times.
Fortunately for me, maybe because of the change of seasons, the cat smell was pretty tame. However, it was compensated for when the lady, a much older woman, had a long phone conversation describing how her underwear was visible in a recent picture due to long slits up the side of her dress.
Common Comic Store Problem #898ds: Clerk carries on without shame as though nobody is present.
Common Comic Store Problem # df89: House of commerce transformed into animal rescue remote unit.
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