Characters That Show Up in DC Comics That Make Me Say "Fuck.."

1. Metron
I don't really know who this asshole is, I don't really understand what a mother box does, and I can never remember if Big Barda is good or bad at any given time. All I know is that this asshole sits around in a chair, and whenever he shows up you better be ready for a time travel or interdimensional situation that is difficult to solve and always solved so completely that it is as though it never happened.
Whenever this guy shows up you know that someone's headed somewhere you don't give a fuck about.

2. Mr. MXKLDJSKD
I'm not typing his name as spelled because that is almost as much of a waste of time as writing a regular blog about comics.
This guy is so fucking annoying. Limitless power, and all that really stops him is saying his name backwards. Okay, how hard is it to not say your name backwards? I have not once said my name backwards, and that's with the knowledge that doing so will not send me into another dimension. What I'm saying is that I've never done it by chance, and that's considering the fact that I'm not actively trying to avoid it.
And Mr. M is god, for all intents and purposes. He can do anything. So why would you have Superman fight god? Leave that to the Savage Dragon.

3. Bizarro
Fuck Bizarro. The idea of a confused dolt with Superman's powers is good, but Bizarro is so obnoxious. Badbye, Superman. Superman am not worst hero. What the hell does that mean?
I'm not a grammar Nazi, but let me just examine something. Here's a Bizarro sentence pulled from the text:
"Then you not know what we must never do."
Sigh...so what they're going for here is
"Then you know what we must do.
But wouldn't the opposite be
"Then you know what we musn't always do?"
How come some shit is opposite and some isn't? Isn't Badhello the true opposite of Goodbye as opposed to Badbye? Or maybe it's even Hellobad. It's infuriating, and my recommendation is to skip every dialogue balloon that comes out of this motherfucker's mouth. Or better yet, skip every comic with his dumb fucking face on the cover.

4. Etrigan
Like Bizarro, could be alright, but the whole talking in rhymes thing gets really old, really fast. According to lore, demons at a certain level of demonness (who knew hell had an org chart?) talk in rhymes. Now that's frightenint, huh? Sort of like that one movie where Jason spoke only in limerick.
Can we get this guy graduated to non-rhyming demon level already? Or busted back down a notch? It's annoying, and anyone can do it.
Hey there Batman
I'm you're biggest fan
Let's punch these guys' heads
and take their street cred.

Okay?

5. Krypto
Every hero has some sort of regrettable sidekick. Sometimes it's a boy in short pants, sometimes it's a lesser hero, sometimes it's a boy in tights. But Superman has a dog.
What's really weird is that, as dogs go, Krypto is kind of an asshole. You know how you have that one friend, and his dog is a total dick but nobody wants to say anything? That's Krypto, man. He's unpleasant, and also he can bite you into a million pieces and what are they going to do? Put him in Space Pound?
Look, I don't find Garfield entertaining. And he's a pet who also think/talks, so I don't think Krypto is ever going to crack his way off this list.

6. Black Racer

Talk about your shitty incarnations of death. A black man in primary color knight's armor on skis. I feel chills. Only from the notebooks of Edgar Allen Poe could such terror arise.

What does he do with those ski poles, use them as scythes? Or are they just to help him corner tighter?

Any way you slice it, I can't get behind this dude.