Amazing Spider-Man #529-531

Okay, not off to a roaring start. Christ, usually it takes me at least a couple weeks to completely lose steam on a project. I must be getting old and tired. Or maybe I'm still young and unfocused. Either way, it's something to do with an age and what that means for my abilities.

These were a couple of the lead-up issues to Civil War that featured Spider-Man and Tony Stark doing some political shit.

Can I say something about Civil War? Overall, loved it. However, it was kind of annoying that they took Iron Man from being one side of a very sensible debate to being a complete wackjob. In this series, he secretly hires some Russian gun-for-hire to attack him and help prove some kind of point. I can't remember who it was. Das Bullet or some such shit.

Anyway, he does the whole thing to badly prove a point, and he keeps it a secret from Spider-Man, who explicitly asks whether or not that is exactly what's going on.

That's enough. I just saw it as taking that part of the story too far when really the whole appeal of the story is having two equally opposed, equally justified sides. Once you turn one side into the side being led by a maniac, you kind of kill the story.

Anyway, there were a couple baffling things about these issues. First:Okay, so my understanding is that Peter Parker and Tony Stark are talking about some kind of injury Mary Jane got. Peter says something like, "I was wondering what exactly you did for her..." and this conversation comes up. Then, in the middle, they both look straight at the reader like, "Huh? You know what I'm saying, dontcha?"

What the fuck? Is there a joke here I'm missing? My best guess is that the joke is, "Holy shit, we broke her arm and in the first panels of the comic she looked fine! We gotta write our way around this!"

Well haha. Some math: This panel is 1/3 of a page, and let's assume this is a 22-page issue. If you divide it up, you're paying about 14 cents per page. Divide by three, eh, just over 5 cents for that panel acknowledging that they fucked up earlier. I'll pass, thanks.

But it gets worse:



I'm not a big fan of editor's notes as-is. It's kind of a cute, comic-booky thing to do, but even the brief ones that say, "Remember ish #457, idiots?" are pretty unnecessary. But this, this goes on and on until even a third, boss editor gets involved. So we have a story within a story, but the story within the story is occurring outside the story, and is in fact creating the story in which it is contained. Pretty meta. WAY more meta than funny.

I will say that these issues certainly provided the most compact, coherent pro/con debate for the registration that led to Civil War. It was done in what is essentially a courtroom scene, which is a scene that No One needs to see ever again. But at least they did it.

Spider-Quest

What you're seeing here is my newest comic book project.

I made a list of every issue of Amazing Spider-Man, then checked off the ones I've read in the last year and the issues from a couple Essential volumes I've got on the shelf. So basically everything that I was 100% certain I've read.

The goal: Read every issue of Amazing Spider-Man.

But wait, it gets more boringer.

I miss my young days and the sweet uncertainty of failure, which was quickly replaced with an impending sense of failure, followed by the bitter sting of failure in progress.

Something I miss about those days was comic shopping, which was different from comic shopping now. You couldn't log onto a computer and buy anything that you could afford. In fact, you never really knew if you would come in contact with that last issue you really needed. The first time I saw a Giant-Size X-Men #1, it was an event in itself, making it worthwhile to go to the shitty comicon in the shitty hotel ballroom.

Here's a tip: If you're ever considering a wedding venue, ask if they've hosted a comicon. If the answer is "yes," search elsewhere.

There were the creepy stores, the creepy people who ran the stores, the weird "Over 18" sections, and the back issues on back issues.

I want to make this project a throwback, so here are the rules:

-No internet buying. That's an easy one.

-No using the internet to find a comic store and contact them. If they're in the phone book, cool. If not, figure it out some other way.

-Highlighted in yellow are issues available at the library. I'm reading those. No need to spend the cash.

That's pretty much it.

It won't be the end of blogging other comics, but just an addition. Hope you hate it.

World War Hulk

Finally, the ending to one of my favorite arcs in a long time.

When we last left the Incredible Hulk, he was really strong and getting fucked over. That should probably be his tagline. Real Strong, Real Fucked Over.

Anyway, he was back on earth, ready to kick the asses of Mr. Fantastic, Dr. Strange, Black Bolt, and Iron Man.

Overall...it was okay. I mean, how are you going to end it? Either the Hulk gets killed or he kills everyone else. Fine.

It was a little unsatisfying, but I think it's hard to end a really beloved story. Let's face it, the end of anything that is loved is pretty much panned. Sopranos, Lost. My boyish handsomeness.

There are a couple things that I didn't like too much, though.

Okay, it's kind of an impossible story. How are you going to beat someone who you spent the last year touting as the strongest, greenest, ripped-est-pants guy of all universes?

Well, you just call Sentry. You know, Sentry? The guy who we were all duped into believing was an old-school hero brought back from the past when really he was a new hero whose generic nature could be excused by creating this 4th wall shattering back story? Sentry?

Sentry is kind of a problem. For starters, nobody wants to watch the Hulk fight Sentry. Because who cares? When the Thing and the Hulk throw down it's way more entertaining even though it's nowhere near the end and only lasts about a page. Hell, it was more interesting to watch Dr. Strange possessed by a demon with weird mace hands fighting the Hulk.

Secondly, I know Marvel comics has a rich history of giving their characters flaws. Whether it's Iron Man puking up Grey Goose in his suit or Spider-Man being unable to pass a dumpster without trashing his outfit, they all have their hang-ups. But being the most powerful dude on the planet and being an agoraphobic?

I'm sure there are many, many people out there who suffer with this condition, and I would hesitate to make fun of them except for the fact that they aren't about to come out and get me. So fuck them.

The key to making an internal character flaw a story element is somehow incorporating it into the external story. Spider-Man always has trouble in his personal life because he's Spider-Man, which is demonstrated by him struggling with whether or not he killed Gwen Stacey, running out of cash for web fluid, and so on. It's a two-way road.

Sentry's internal struggle isn't really externalized in any way other than him standing in his doorway, and eventually just deciding to leave. Whoop-de-shit.

Also, agoraphobia was a bad choice. It's a really ironic choice, but it's really hard to buy that a character who is the most powerful dude on the planet, able to do anything including flying around and not encountering a single person or the earth itself, is scared of going outside. Maybe go with some other disorder next time. Or operate on his brain.

However, there was one Luke Cage panel that was particularly enjoyable on a level that I didn't expect at all.

Wow.